As I pat myself on the back...

I am finally FINISHED with school for the semester! Woo!

Confused about life.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I was really excited about studying for the health care field until I actually started doing it. It's definitely not my favorite. I think the material is interesting, but I don't think it is the career that I want to pursue. This worries me because I'm only one month in and already looking to move on. I will finish up the semester and keep my grades up, of course, but then I'm back at square one as far as knowing what I want to study.

What I really want to do is open up a little cafe somewhere and just hang out. Unfortunately, it would not be this easy. It would be difficult, in every aspect. And if it ever did get running, it would still be difficult. There would also be no money, I'm sure.

I think money is the main annoyance in choosing a career field. Everyone wants to make money. Everyone wants it to be easy. You can't have both. And while I would much rather just have the happy, stress-free life, you can't seem to survive in this country without some sort of median income or yada-yada-yada degree. Not to mention the fact that every high paying job in this country requires some sort of science or math degree. Yuck.

I just want to have a cute little home with my cute little family. I want to take vacations every summer, and I want to teach my kids the right things in life. I don't want a 40 hour work week with a 2 week annual vacation, but I don't want to worry about getting by. Why is is that Americans these days have to constantly strive to be the best? To make the most money? To always be on top? Come on already, isn't all the trying to keep up with the Joneses getting tiring?

I need some serious advice. Do all of you have college degrees? If so, how are you using it? Or rather, how are you managing to get by as a stay-at-home mother?

AH!

I have so much homework I don't even know how to begin wrapping my mind around it. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be back in school taking classes, it's just the amount of work is almost unfathomable. I thank God I'm not working right now, because I know this the only way I would be successful without going crazy. 

The material so far has been interesting. All except for my HCC130 class - Fundamentals of Health Care Delivery. The first and second chapters threw me -boom!- right into health insurance. Talk about confusing. And it doesn't help that the professor's typed lesson and review make no sense in comparison to the book. I'm supposed to read chapters 1-7 but she covers material from chapter 8, which is supposed to be lesson two. What? I hardly even understand the objectives for the lesson, let alone the material, and here she goes not making any sense. I've already spent hours re-reading the parts I don't understand, and I don't seem to be getting any closer to finishing. Maybe I'm just being a baby. Anyway I don't want to start on any other homework until I finish this, so I need to get my tush working on it. 

So much to do! 

Too Much.

Last night I had the strangest dream I have ever had. More like a nightmare, really. After waking up feeling terrible about how hurtful the dream had been, I now look back on it and think it's rather hilarious. This is how it went (roughly): Mike and I had a fight, who knows what about, and he said he was leaving me. I, naturally, freaked out. He then turned into peanut butter, and I fed him to a cat.

Really?? So weird. So scary, yet so funny.

Perhaps the dream was a result of how busy we have been lately. There have been so many things to do, and not even big things, just tons of little things. Things like organizing the files, getting rid of things, school, address changes, name changes, whatever. So much I can't even keep up with myself. I am so extremely thankful at this time that I am not working. I've felt guilty for not working. It's hard not to feel terribly guilty, when Mike works 40 hours a week, just moved us up here, commutes a ridiculously far drive 5 times a week, is still in summer school, and is starting the Fall semester on Monday. He works so incredibly hard at everything he does, and even though I'm staying home for a good cause, I can't help but feel badly. I'm sure I will feel differently once school starts (Monday!), and of course, once Ava gets here. I suppose I should just shut up, be thankful, and enjoy the down time my husband is working so hard for me to have. It'll just take a little while getting used to.

As I just mentioned, school starts Monday. I purchased my books last week, and I must say, I am very intimidated! I have been going over the upcoming assignments, and boy, do they look intense. I am excited, though. Nervous as hell, but still excited. My classes each have different ending dates, the longest lasting until December 13. Unfortunately, it's my Anatomy & Physiology class, which is the only class I am not allowed to accelerate in or take the finals early. I wrote my professor and informed her of my due date conflicting with the end of class, so we're going to work something out with the Department Head so I can finish the class early. I'll have to work harder to accelerate, but it'll be worth not worrying about when I'm in labor pushing out my baby! Mike and I decided that I will go to school with him Monday and Tuesday nights and work on my homework while he's in class, that way I have some discipline, as well as reserved time, to get things done.

I'm not sure if things are ever going to slow down. On a lighter, happier note, Mike and I can now see Ava kicking around in my belly. It's so amazing! She was kicking like a madwoman the other night while I was sitting on the bed, so I looked down to see if it was visible and sure enough, it was! With each little thump inside, the outside of my belly looked like a bass pumping loud music. I grabbed Mike and we watched for several minutes until she cooled down. I will definitely need to record it next time.

School.

I enrolled for classes at Rio Salado College today. I am so glad to finally be getting back into my education. I've decided to shoot for the stars and go for the Dental Hygiene program. It'll be hard, and a lot of work, but I know I can do it. I have about a year of prerequisites to complete before I can apply, but the classes I need to take look interesting. My Fall 2008 schedule is as follows: 

BIO 160 - Introduction to Human Anatomy & Physiology w/Lab

BIO 162 - Microbiology Concepts in Allied Health

HCC 130 - Fundamentals in Health Care Delivery

HCC 145AA- Medical Terminology for Health Care Workers I

MAT 102 - Math Concepts & Applications

..for a grand total of 13 credit hours. I begin August 25th and finish the longest class December 13th. I'm nervous, but excited. This semester will probably be the most rewarding, because the classes will actually interest me. Although, I have made the not-so-wise move of pushing the "boring" classes back, when I will eventually have to take them, and most likely all at the same time. Oh well.