Too Much.

Last night I had the strangest dream I have ever had. More like a nightmare, really. After waking up feeling terrible about how hurtful the dream had been, I now look back on it and think it's rather hilarious. This is how it went (roughly): Mike and I had a fight, who knows what about, and he said he was leaving me. I, naturally, freaked out. He then turned into peanut butter, and I fed him to a cat.

Really?? So weird. So scary, yet so funny.

Perhaps the dream was a result of how busy we have been lately. There have been so many things to do, and not even big things, just tons of little things. Things like organizing the files, getting rid of things, school, address changes, name changes, whatever. So much I can't even keep up with myself. I am so extremely thankful at this time that I am not working. I've felt guilty for not working. It's hard not to feel terribly guilty, when Mike works 40 hours a week, just moved us up here, commutes a ridiculously far drive 5 times a week, is still in summer school, and is starting the Fall semester on Monday. He works so incredibly hard at everything he does, and even though I'm staying home for a good cause, I can't help but feel badly. I'm sure I will feel differently once school starts (Monday!), and of course, once Ava gets here. I suppose I should just shut up, be thankful, and enjoy the down time my husband is working so hard for me to have. It'll just take a little while getting used to.

As I just mentioned, school starts Monday. I purchased my books last week, and I must say, I am very intimidated! I have been going over the upcoming assignments, and boy, do they look intense. I am excited, though. Nervous as hell, but still excited. My classes each have different ending dates, the longest lasting until December 13. Unfortunately, it's my Anatomy & Physiology class, which is the only class I am not allowed to accelerate in or take the finals early. I wrote my professor and informed her of my due date conflicting with the end of class, so we're going to work something out with the Department Head so I can finish the class early. I'll have to work harder to accelerate, but it'll be worth not worrying about when I'm in labor pushing out my baby! Mike and I decided that I will go to school with him Monday and Tuesday nights and work on my homework while he's in class, that way I have some discipline, as well as reserved time, to get things done.

I'm not sure if things are ever going to slow down. On a lighter, happier note, Mike and I can now see Ava kicking around in my belly. It's so amazing! She was kicking like a madwoman the other night while I was sitting on the bed, so I looked down to see if it was visible and sure enough, it was! With each little thump inside, the outside of my belly looked like a bass pumping loud music. I grabbed Mike and we watched for several minutes until she cooled down. I will definitely need to record it next time.

Baby.

I've recently discovered that pregnancy brings along a most interesting "symptom": vivid dreams. The last few weeks my sleep has been constantly disrupted by these strange, and usually scary, dreams. Having previously been a "dream-less" sleeper, it's been quite a change.

I decided to look into it and found that this is actually extremely common during pregnancy. Many women described their dreams more as nightmares, while others said they simply dreamt of their future life with baby. After countless nights of nightmarish horror dreams, last night I finally dreamed of baby.

Details have become a little sketchy, but the parts I do remember are wonderful. Baby was a little girl, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I couldn't stop holding her and smiling at her.

It was a dream I wanted to last forever.